A Wholly Healthy Scotland (The Tartan Partan Song)
I believe in Angus the Tartan Partan
I believe there are fairies at the bottom of my garden
I believe in the National Collective
I believe that Taggart was a real detective
And I believe in a wholly healthy, happy Scotland
I believe that North Sea oil will last forever
I believe that Alex Salmond used to be quite clever
I read Scottish books, they’re my artistic heartland
I love that Lesley Riddoch and that Barbara Cartland
I believe in a wholly healthy happy Scotland
A pure unblemished Scotland
Where no-one gets sick or ill
That’s the promise that’s been made to us
And I believe it still
There will be no sorrow there will be no pain
And we will qualify for the World Cup again
We’ll drink cocktails made of Eldorado, Buckfast and Champagne
A wholly healthy, happy Scotland
Doctors say they’ll leave, but we just laugh
We’ll have nurse practitioners and homeopaths
And so much oil the North Sea’s greasy
We’ll abolish death. It’ll be quite easy
For I believe in a wholly healthy happy Scotland
And it will last for a thousand years
There will be no more anguish, there will be no more tears
And everything will blossom
Just like Norway
Just like Norway
Who is Scar Quilse?
Born in a trowie mound (or Pictish broch) behind Mavis Grind in the North Mainland of Shetland, Scar Quilse is an enigma wrapped in a Fair Isle gansie. Or a conundrum. Or both.
Scar is a distant cousin of the infamous "musician" Zander 'Blind Boy' Flugga, eventually banned from appearances on BBC Radio Scotland after the unfortunate 'Dolphinsludgegate' events.
He is well known in the isles for his peculiar beard.