Who is Scar Quilse?

Born in a trowie mound (or Pictish broch) behind Mavis Grind in the North Mainland of Shetland, Scar Quilse is an enigma wrapped in a Fair Isle gansie. Or a conundrum. Or both.

Scar is a distant cousin of the infamous "musician" Zander 'Blind Boy' Flugga, eventually banned from appearances on BBC Radio Scotland after the unfortunate 'Dolphinsludgegate' events.

He is well known in the isles for his peculiar beard.

Tuesday, 15 July 2014

One Pair o'Tartan Trews (The Fashion Song)

One pair o’ tartan trews
What was Wee Eck trying tae do?
He can’t wear a kilt
Cause his bum gets aw chillt
And his knees get aw frostbitten too
Two hundred and fifty pounds
Ah but somehow the money was found
The taxpayer paid
The trews were tailor made
The first minister’s joy was profound

They were worn at a Chinese ball
Eck didnae go down well at all
Another Panda he sought
Bits of chicken he got
Deep fried in sweet and sour balls

He’s repaid the money at last
And those trews are a thing of the past
For as Wee Eck  expands
He needs elastic bands
To keep his pull-ups at half mast

Now the Commonwealth Games are here
And oor athletes have bonny new gear
It’s the tartan frae hell
Wee Eck’s got some as well
Made into a simmet I fear.

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